When Your Life Isn't a Uplifting Meme

Scrolling through IG I came across the “comparison is the thief of joy “ quote. We have all heard it and we get that ah ha moment when we see it and remind ourselves to feel grateful for what we have. But what if we don’t.

What if we are angry, sad, beat down at things life has given us? What if instead of thinking “ oh my gosh yes! I’m so blessed “when seeing a positive uplifting quote, we think “oh my hell shut up! “ what then?

I was that person. I’d roll my eyes at every floral meme with pretty font telling me to be grateful or excited or happy or thankful or or or... you get it.

So I unfollowed all my “happy friends“

You know. The ones with the pictures of the beautiful homes and their tiny selves at yoga. The ones that went on vacation it seemed constantly and were always smiling. I’d grumble at think “ well lucky you “

Then I’d realized luck had nothing to do with it. NOTHING. I learned that some of these people had horrific things going on in their lives but instead of focusing on that, they chose to focus on the positive... SAY WHAT? You can be dealing with some pretty craptastic stuff and still be happy?

I know what your thinking. “ ummm lady you have no idea what I’m dealing with “ and you’re 100% right! But I do know that I’ve dealt with some really freaking horrible things ( if you don’t know my story, go to the beginning of my blog ) and I for a very.... VERY long time chose to only focus on the negative. I found zero joy in my life and honestly prayed I could end it in some “accident”. I would have a great dream where I was happy then wake up and realize “ oh my gosh this is my life “ and start sobbing. I spun myself into such misery that it physically put me in the hospital. I laid there crying and asking for more anti anxiety medication because I couldn’t deal with my life anymore. Then I came home, slept, woke up and decided NO MORE.

I started listening to podcasts on overcoming trauma, and being happy. And yes sometimes I still would roll my eyes. But little by little I started implementing things. I kept a journal by my bed and each night before I laid down I wrote one good thing that happened that day. Some days I struggled to think of a single tiny good moment. Now I could fill up pages. Not because my life circumstances changed. But because I did.

I changed how I looked at things, I changed how I got up each morning, I changed what I feed my body, I even changed my hair color!

This didn’t happen in a day, or a week, or month. Heck it didn’t even all happen the first year. But little by little it happened.

Sure I still have days I struggle and days that just seriously suck. But they get fewer and far between. I see posts about how your children deserve a mom that’s happy. And yes of course they do. But honestly... more importantly...

You deserve to be happy and live a life you love.

Starting Monday I will be doing a series each day of each change I made and how you can implement them. ( and there will be giveaways! ) Subscribe to my blog, or follow me on IG ( ) or

Facebook ( ) for daily updates.

Much love,