This quote has been going around for awhile. I have no idea if Brigham Young really said this or not. One of his great great ( great?) grandsons is my neighbor, and if he’s anything like him, I believe its true lol ( my neighbor is super amazing )
Anyhoo, I get a lot of questions on how I handle the negative thoughts that pop into my brain, or the trauma memories that like to try to play on a loop in my brain. First I acknowledge them. You know a toddler that won’t stop saying “ MOMMY” over and over until you acknowledge them? That’s how I look at these moments.
Its like “ Hey! yes I see you. “ then I figure out what to do next with them. Anxiety thoughts like “ What if XYZ happens?! “ as I spread all the worst case scenarios inside my brain… Those I remind myself that, they have NOT happened, and replace them with a positive outcome. I also remind myself that worst case scenario is that if they do come true, that I have 100% success rate of getting through horrible things in my life, so I will deal with it if it happens. I also yell at myself for almost putting those things into the universe and tell myself to knock it off :)
Now what about those horrible flashbacks? Those use to swirl around and demand to be acknowledged and would not stop. They are LOUD and very needy. ( kinda like myself most days lol ) So I decided that instead of trying to force them to go away , that I would make a deal with them. I acknowledge then set a time with myself to think about and process them. Journaling is great for this. It gets then out of your head and onto somewhere else they can live.
I know you are like “ WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KELLY?!” So let me explain…
For example, memories of losing my mother suddenly when she was only 52, and I was pregnant with our 6th child ( 13 years ago ) still show up a lot. So I think, okay yep that happened, but right now I am going to finish xyz, and tonight at whatever time I set I will do something to work through that. Be it, journal, look at pictures with the kids, or play a James Taylor song and cry. I am still dealing with it, I am still processing and working through it so it doesn’t consume me, but I am not stopping my life in that moment and shutting down.
Does that make sense?
I receive a lot of private messages from readers asking me how to deal I would deal with something specific they are facing. And that is amazing. Please know that my inbox is always open, and Im hear to listen, and share what has helped me in hopes that you get something out of it to help you.