It’s late at night and completely peaceful in my house. I haven’t posted for awhile. I’ve been working on..... battling some mental health issues. I started a job in finance. A job I love BUT my mental health does not love me having a job. I can’t handle any extra stress... yet. But I’m working on it. But until then I am on a leave of absence.
I realized my life can seem pretty “ ideal “ to use a word from one of my Instagram followers. I also realized in reading that , that I have lost my way a bit. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very blessed to have a husband that treats me so well and children I am very close to. But my purpose of my social media is to be REAL. So while it’s great to show the pretty, it’s most important to show the not so pretty times.
The times where I question myself about my parenting skills, being good enough for my husband, am I a good friend? The times where I struggle with my mental health so bad that I can’t even turn on a zoom meeting for church meetings because I question if I am worthy on love from my Heavenly Father.
I question if moving to Utah was the right thing to do. Yes it’s beautiful here, but it’s a world of very pretty , happy people. Talking about my depression and anxiety scares them I think....
But anyway, I have a plan for regular blog posts. To be real and open about sharing my life and the tools I learn so if you need them , maybe they will help you . I hope this post finds you well and enjoying this holiday season...
Much Love ,