Being in the Messy part

When I got out of my hospital stay I was I incredibly hopeful. I had new tools, and I was super "gung ho " about using them and healing from my childhood, and other trauma and moving on. But I forgot the most important part of it. Healing from anything is not a sprint, its a marathon. Marathons take a ton of prep work, and TIME. LOTS OF TIME! And I was not giving myself any of the most important part. And guess what happened. I ended up back inpatient....

It didn't happen in some dramatic way. It started with an email to my Dr letting him know that I didn't think my medication was working anymore. Then days where I struggled to get out of bed. Then a crying panic attack at the grocery store trying to make a simple choice. Then ended with me at my therapy appointment, her asking permission to call my husband, and them asking if I would go back in. I agreed reluctantly, but I was was so tired... Just so so very tired...

So I went in for 3 days to change my medication, attend some therapies and recovery groups, and escape regular life. Its been a month now and while my life hasn't had some huge dramatic change, and sometimes things still come up and just suck! I am able to handle it, and if I am not able to handle it, I am able to ask for help. Something I am not great at BTW lol. But I am a work in progress, and that is okay too.

I will now be blogging again regularly finally, and excited to get these thoughts out of my head and onto.... I was going to say paper lol! I guess excited to get them on here. There has been so much going on in my life!

I hope everyone is doing well, and taking care of yourselves,

Much Love,